Thursday, January 05, 2006

"It's Not Me, No, No, No, It's Not Me, Lord! It's Not Me You're Looking For Lord"

Tulsa pastor arrested on lewdness accusation

By RICHARD GREEN - Associated Press Writer

OKLAHOMA CITY (AP) — An executive committee member of the Southern Baptist Convention was arrested on a lewdness charge for propositioning a plainclothes policeman outside a hotel, police said.

[The 59 year old] senior pastor at South Tulsa Baptist Church, was booked into Oklahoma County Jail Tuesday night on a misdemeanor charge of offering to engage in an act of lewdness, police Capt. Jeffrey Becker said. [He] was released on $500 bail Wednesday afternoon.

[The pastor], who has spoken out against homosexuality, asked the officer to join him in his hotel room for oral sex. [He] was arrested and his 2005 Mercedes automobile was impounded, Becker said.

“I was set up. I was in the area pastoring to police.”

The lewdness charge carries a penalty of up to one year in jail and a $2,500 fine.

Wow! Doesn't that just bless your hearts? Imagine the Davidic like sound to the line: "I was set up." Just think, if this fellow had written Ps 51, it might have gone something like this . . .

Psalm 51 (2006 User Friendly Version of "Repentance")

Have mercy upon me, O God, according to my excuses: unto the multitude of my explanations blot out my mistakes of judgment.

Wash me moderately from mine issues, and cleanse me with a surplus of self esteem.

For I explain my alleged transgressions: and my supposed sin is never before me.

Against me, me only, have I let myself down, and done this minor indescretion in the sight of whoever finds out: that thou mightest be accommodating when thou speakest, and be gentle when thou understand my circumstances.

Behold, I was shapen in an environment of other people’s bad influences; and in inopportune circumstances did my mother conceive me.

Behold, thou desirest an average response in the inward parts: and in the hidden part thou shalt give me free will to go whichever way I find attractive.

Purge me with extra understanding, and I shall be enabled: bless me, and I shall be happy for the moment.

Make me to hear joy and gladness; that the bones which thou hast kept from breaking may rejoice.

Hide thy face from my all fully explainable slights, and overlook all mine inperfections.

Give me an easy time, O God; and renew a self-determining spirit within me.

Cast me not away from thy presence because I was set up; and take not thy holy spirit from me, remembering that none of it was really my fault.

Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit.

Then will I enjoy my hypocrisy; and sinners can fend for themselves.

Deliver me from guilt trips by others, O God, thou God of my salvation: and my tongue shall sing aloud of thy permissiveness.

O Lord, open thou my lips; and my mouth shall shew forth my enjoyment with myself.

For thou desirest not sacrifice; which is a good thing so that it will not cost me anything valuable: thou delightest not in burnt offering or sacrifices of any kind.

The "sacrifices" of God are a happy spirit: a full and a self-satisfied heart, O God, will make me feel so fulfilled and cozy.

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